You Wouldn’t Believe Where I’m Really From

I have three godparents: Bahamut, who’s actually an ice age Indian from California (call him “Y”), and a woman who was on the island of Lesbos, we’ll call her “X”, and Zeus, we’ll call him “Z”.

As you know Zeus may have been eyeing Lesbos for a loooong time. They (the Lesbians) would, of course, take a male to reproduce, but the man would die each time. This was a poser for a tricky guy like Zeus, not so for other men. It is known that the Greeks would not well take an affront to the Mythology of Lesbos, particularly women who are of a certain demeanor would be offended there in Greece, I think.

Zeus may have found someone who would be raped by Bahamut in the future, and asked the Oracle if he might somehow warn her in advance. But as payment for the warning, he took her and left! Typically naughty Zeus. Then, as foreordained, she was raped by Bahamut. The question then, is, given that these are gods, might it be that I have three godparents not two. And were the Lesbians able to forgive Bahamut, fuck no- that is a tradition of Lesbos that is immutable. Besides he’s a foreigner. Greek legend might be able to handle letting Zeus survive because he warned her and was clever, but perhaps not if he impregnated her. So he says “it was anal.” Thanks, dad!

So I was an XYZ godchild.

And if you don’t think X is a god, why is The Lesbian so famous in America today? Was she the smartest, or the best bullshit artist?

One Comment

  1. Posted April 2, 2008 at 3:08 pm | Permalink

    Bahamut does not claim that.


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